Friday, 9 November 2018

" Us men get body conscious as well ".

Yes I actually felt horrible at the gym tonight!!.

It took so much will power to get out and head to the gym tonight, fighting my anxiety the whole way there.

No matter how hard it is I will finish this challenge and I know deep down it will get easier with time.

The thing I hate the most about the gym is the mirrors, they are " EVERYWHERE " in my gym, you just can't hide from them no matter how hard you try . . . and trust me I tried.

I actually couldn't stand looking at myself, it knocked my confidence and I wanted to leave. Reaching up to get the lat pull down bar and seeing my little chubby belly creeping out from under my t-shirt, that combined with the unfamiliar bloke I was seeing in the mirror got me feeling pretty sad.

Even when I have a slow run or walk up my stairs to my home I'm getting out of breath and feel like I'm going to die.

It upsets me because I was such a fit lad when I was in the Army and I loved fitness and the thought that I have let myself go so much is soul destroying.

The thing is that I'm not that heavy, I'm 15st and I'm 5'9" so only really around three stone over weight.
" WOW " now that does seem a lot lol.

I started to feel uncomfortable in the gym clothes I was wearing as well as feeling fat. 

This is a battle I will be fighting each and every time I visit the gym, this won't beat me and I will achieve the body and fitness level I want by my next birthday.

With a deep breath I started training and despite it being a pretty hard workout I came away with jelly legs and a little smile on my face.

Looking at my little bit of chub and my wobble as I walked home I know that with a little bit of hard work, sweat and tears I will be FIT not FAT at 40.

I will be out there soon getting some decent gym clothing which will hopefully make me feel slightly better as I'm sure it would do for most of us, and push myself hard each training session.

How would I find a small company or clothing brand to maybe sponsor me?

Well peeps, until next time.

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